Marriage, Packs, and Transformations SISTER READS Breaking Dawn

Welcome back to The Real World According To Sam. Today we have another Sister Reads post, involving Twilight. This is for Breaking Dawn! The final book in the main series. Like Eclipse, she read this one as an e-book copy, so we don't have page numbers...therefore we will just use chapters as the markers again. 

Naturally, there are spoilers for the past three books within this review. Additionally, this commentary is full of spoilers for things that happen within this book. You have been warned!! 


Here's how it goes: this standard font will be the context of what is on the listed page. 
My sister's comments will look like: THIS. Hi! 
Like last time, my own comments, will be italicized. 

Breaking Dawn

Book One: Bella

Chapter 1:

When Bella calls Seth to check up on Jacob. 

Forget the "love triangle" between Jacob and Edward. I'll take a love triangle between Seth and Jasper.

Chapter 2:

When Bella says that the smell of her blood still hurts Edward: "But I knew the smell of my blood still caused him pain--still burned his throat like he was inhaling flames." 
Wasn't this almost the SAME exact thing said in Eclipse
Let's check shall we?
(Eclipse"I knew that the scent of my blood--so much sweeter to him than any other person’s blood, truly like wine beside water to an alcoholic--caused him actual pain from the burning thirst it engendered.")
Pretty much.

When Bella says that Edward will have to get a new hobby after she transforms.
Maybe YOU should get a hobby, period.
I agree with that. She could use one. Maybe then she would get into less trouble overall.    

Chapter 4:

After Bella and Jacob argue:
"Jasper and Emmett were on the edge of the floor, close together, and I guessed that they had been nearby during the confrontation.
'Are you--'
'I'm fine,' I promised. 'I can't believe I did that. What's wrong with me?'
'Nothing is wrong with you.'"

I'm confused. Who's talking? I know Edward was beside Bella, but that doesn't clear up my confusion. Was it Emmett? Not likely. Jasper? Maybe, but he would've sensed her feelings instead of asking. Edward? He makes the most sense, but I'd rather be sure, instead of having to assume Edward is the one talking.
Yeah, based on this snippet here, I can't really tell. Maybe they collectively said it and it wasn't clarified?

Chapter 5:

When Bella talks about Edward and her fears: "If it weren't Edward out there, if I didn't know in every cell of my body that he loved me as much as I loved him--unconditionally and irrevocably and, to be honest, irrationally--I'd never be able to get up off this floor." 
There are the words unconditionally and irrevocably again. I'm so sick of those words. Irrationally I agree with, Bella. He's a vampire. He's undead. You're in love with something that isn't even alive. How weird and creepy is that?

When Edward regrets bruising Bella: "And then I was a little angry, because he was darkening this most perfect of all mornings with his pessimistic assumptions." 
Oh, come on, Bella. You can be pessimistic as well. In fact you were for almost the entirety of Twilight and New MoonNew Moon especially. 

Chapter 6: 

When Bella and Edward discuss going to Dartmouth; Bella asks if they can find an apartment: Edward replies, "Well, we sort of already have a house there. You know, just in case." 
A house? Of course. Why not? Just buy an entire house. That's cool. 
Hey, that IS cool. I'd much rather have a house. They probably should have included her in the conversation as far as what she wanted in a home too, but...she loves him so much that she won't care as long as he dotes on her a bit.

When Edward mentions Kaure's legends, because she's part Ticuna Indian: "They have their own legends here. The Libishomen--a blood-drinking demon who preys exclusively on beautiful women." 
Bella thinks, "Beautiful women only? Well, that was kind of flattering." 
Why do you always find EVERYTHING that is dangerous, flattering? This is why I think you're stupid.
It's either flattering or appealing and a MUST-do...there really seems to be no in between.

Chapter 7:

When Bella finds out she's pregnant.
She's going to be a mother. Female vampires can't have kids, but male ones can? This doesn't even make sense.
Not one bit. I'm surprised you made it this far given all the logical fallacies running rampant through the pages. Props!

When Bella CONVENIENTLY remembers back to the research she did just after Twilight Chapter 7: Scary Stories: "And then I remembered something--a morning of internet research that seemed a lifetime ago now...." 
You remember NOW? How convenient, Bella. 
She doesn't remember it when it would be useful originally, but now its just SUDDENLY there. Her mind is a strange place.

She proceeds to read off the names of the creatures of legend that she read: "The Filipino Danag, the Hebrew Estrie, the Romanian Varacolaci, the Italian Stregoni benefici...." 
My question is how does she remember both the NAMES and COUNTRIES that these creatures are from? As far as I know, she read that information once, maybe three times.
We're supposed to automatically believe she became a sponge and soaked it all up. That her brain didn't know how to access the information until now. Or at least that is the only conclusion I can think of based on everything we know at this point.

When Bella thinks about the difference between female vampires and male vampires. 
Okay, now this makes sense.
I'm surprised it took so long to reach this point of explanation. 4 books and 50 questions later....

Book Two: Jacob

You really need THREE prefaces? Really?
Of course! One is fun, so why double the fun when you can triple it and force people through 750 pages of vampire/werewolf chaos? I think she just wanted to hit a higher word count and added as much more as she could think of even though none of the other books do those things (ex: having the book divided into smaller parts, adding more prefaces, explaining things that should've been explained ages ago, the list goes on and on....).

Chapter 8:

When Jacob mentions Paul imprinting on Rachel, his sister. 
Four books and we barely find out that Jacob has a sister? Why is this information barely mentioned NOW? I would've liked to have known this before. Why doesn't Jacob talk about them? It just leaves more questions than answers. Bella would play with Jacob when they were children (not much, but when she would go to Forks). Did Bella just forget? I'm sure they were there...
Maybe because if Bella doesn't think it is attractive or dangerously alluring then it isn't worth mentioning? If it has a pulse and is normal, then it doesn't matter. That's the rule here. Also, see my note about word count in the comment above. 

When Jacob thinks about the Cullen's house burning down, with all the Cullens ("Eight humans roughly the same size.") inside it. 
Does that include Bella, too, or...??? Because she's technically Bella Cullen now. Plus, she lives with them. What are you saying, Jacob? Rosalie, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Edward, Carlisle, and Emmett. That's seven. I can't believe you are basically hoping that Bella burns with them. Jacob, you have issues.
He's had issues from the beginning. I don't like him as the other part of the triangle, I don't understand most of his appeal, honestly. This is a really demented thought to have.

Chapter 9:

When Jacob mentions his other sister, Rebecca. 
He has TWO? And this is mentioned now? What's even the point?
For the random fun of it...that's why. No other point.

When Edward tells Jacob to make Bella see reason since her baby is killing her; Edward says that Bella can have as many children as she wants (just not with Edward); he implies that Jacob can have children with her if that's what it takes to keep her alive; Jacob says that it's so messed up, yet so tempting. 
*cringes* Ew. Ew. Ew. So disgusting. How about we DON'T "share" Bella? I agree with you, Jacob. It IS messed up, but it shouldn't be tempting. What even is this book at this point? 
ABSURDITY. Welcome to the weird side of YA. I wish I could say there were cookies...there aren't, just crumbling relationships and plot points.

Chapter 10:

When Jacob tries to reason with Bella; Bella says, "Did you know that 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob? His name is 'Shut the hell up.'After a compliment from Jacob, Bella says she can't take the credit, because she got it off a rerun of The Simpsons. 
Just when I thought you were being clever and funny. Turns out my expectations are way higher than they should be, and I don't even know why.
You thought she could be funny? No. But see? The shows I watch are funny and clever. You should be asking about my taste in entertainment instead of exploring Bella's strange life...

When Bella tells Jacob how Esme became a vampire; Jacob says that she isn't intending to survive her baby as a human; Bella says, "No. I'm not stupid." (she intends to give birth, die, and become a vampire by an "emergency vampirization." 
You actually ARE stupid, but that's something I've already said a million times, so I'm not even going to bother.
By saying you're not going to bother, you're bothering.😀 Just thought I'd point that out....

When Jacob tells Bella that what she has inside her isn't a pretty baby: "You're very pessimistic, Jacob. There is definitely a chance that I might walk away from this." 
Speak for yourself, Bella. You're very pessimistic, too. At least, you WERE, but at this point almost your entire personality (which is very little) has changed for some reason. 

When Jacob is told by Sam to obey his orders to kill Bella and her child: "No member of the pack could refuse the Alpha." 
Don't you wish you were the Alpha NOW, Jacob?
Wouldn't that have been super handy at a time like this? At least this wasn't just done and fixed with a convenient sudden snap of the fingers...that'd be extra irritating. 

Chapter 11:

When Jacob breaks away from Sam and Seth follows him. 
Yay! We get to keep Seth. I like Seth.
How about stories just about Seth and Jasper? That could be fun. 

Chapter 12:

When Jacob wonders how many chromosome pairs he has; Carlisle tells him he has twenty-four: "I was...curious. I took the liberty when I was treating you last June." 
*smiles* Of course he did. Leave it to Carlisle to conduct medical research. I'm not surprised, just amused. 
The individual Cullens pre-Bella are actually super entertaining and amusing. I wish they had a better future daughter-in-law.

When Bella finds out that drinking human blood may help her baby: "Let's go for it. My first vampire act." 
You're still human, Bella. How are you so nonchalant about drinking human blood? Blood repulses you. Or at least, it did about a year and a half ago. Make up your mind. 
Her squeamishness sure went away pretty quickly. I don't think it works like that. But remember! Normal activities like getting married are absurd, strange vampire activities are fascinating.

Chapter 13:

When Bella begins drinking the blood for her baby: "It smells good." 
Eww. I get that women get cravings when they're pregnant, but normal women don't crave HUMAN BLOOD. And they especially don't say that it smells good. What happened to the Bella that would faint at even the slightest smell of blood? This seems out of character for Bella. She HATES blood, and now suddenly she LIKES it, for the sake of her child? None of this makes sense.
It has never made sense. This is the fourth post we have done of this, so you should know the golden rule is: NOTHING MAKES SENSE, RUN WITH IT. Run with the biologically inaccurate vampires and the demented boy in the dog pack. As in, run far far away from both...

When Sam sends Jared and a few other wolves in peace: Jared says to Seth, "Sue asked me to tell you--no, to beg you--come home. She's brokenhearted, Seth. All alone. I don't know how you and Leah can do this to her. Abandon her this way, when your dad just barely died--" 
You're a jerk, Jared. An enormous jerk. Just leave already. 

Chapter 14: 

When Bella is happy to see Jacob; he ends up confused: "What was with her? For crying out loud, she was married! Happily married, too--there was no question that she was in love with her vampire past the boundaries of sanity. And hugely pregnant, to top it off. So why did she have to be so dam- thrilled to see me?" 
I'm convinced you've never really been JUST friends with a girl before. Why CAN'T she be happy to see you? You're her best friend. Honestly, Jacob.
Clueless, stupid, ignorant male character. He gets worse and worse with every sentence. 

Chapter 15:

When Rosalie gets Jacob food and shapes the bowl like a dog bowl: "Enjoy, mongrel." 
*laughs* Rosalie, Rosalie, Rosalie.

Chapter 16:

When Bella says what the child's name will be if it's a boy or girl; she says it'll be EJ if it's a boy; Rosalie asks her what if it is a girl: "I kicked a few things around. Played around with Renee and Esme. I was thinking....Ruh-nez-may." 
Renesmee. That's a pretty name, I guess. Please be a girl, because I have a feeling I know what the J in EJ stands for.
Yeah, let's NOT do that. I'd prefer to not do that.

Chapter 17:

When Jacob goes to the mall to look for his soulmate: "I parked across two handicapped spots--just begging for a ticket--and joined the crowd."
*shakes head* I don't like you right now, Jacob. Not at all.
His murderous thoughts and inability to be normal weren't enough, now we also have to be rude to handicapped people. Generally, this may not seem like a big deal, but when you are actually involved in handicap care and need those parkings, this just becomes cruel and rude. People, PLEASE don't do this.

Chapter 18:

When Jacob goes from wanting to kill Renesmee for killing Bella, then decides that she needs to be protected because he imprinted on her. 
Oh. So, THAT'S what Jacob saw in Bella. Okay. It makes a lot more sense now.
Does it, though? Give it another few sentences and it probably won't make sense anymore. That seems to be the pattern.

Book Three: Bella


When Bella mentions that they are in danger from the Volturi. 
Way to spoil the big "surprise." Now I know they fight the Volturi. I don't even get to guess the danger that is in front of them. I didn't even KNOW there was any danger right now besides Renesmee. 
This is what we call an epic the words of the Dread Pirate Roberts (AKA Wesley, in The Princess Bride), get used to disappointment.

Chapter 19:

When the placenta detaches; Bella tells them to get him out because he's suffocating: "It felt wrong--I struggled automatically to protect my womb, my baby, my little Edward Jacob, but I was weak." 
Please be wrong. Please be a girl. Please be Renesmee. Turns out I was right. The J DID stand for Jacob. Bella, you are incredibly predictable.
Wait for it...wait for it...

When Bella feels herself dying: "Edward was depending on me. Jacob. Charlie Alice Rosalie Carlisle Renee Esme....." 
The lack of commas bothers me more than it probably should. 
Grammar freak....only kidding, it bothers me too. Welcome to the club. Maybe someday we will get t-shirts.

When Bella counts Edward's breaths while she feels like she's burning due to her transformation: "I went back to counting Edward's breaths to mark the time. Ten thousand, nine hundred forty-three breaths later...." 
Are you serious? Who counts breaths like that? I would've lost my place around the three hundred mark. I wouldn't even have made it to one thousand. Is her new vampire ability going to be able to tell time immediately? Not to mention, you are in pain. Who can focus THAT much while in pain? 
Maybe she is trying to focus on anything OTHER than the pain using the first thing that popped into her mind...but really, that's a lot of counting to do. She really needs to find better ways to fill her time that are less weird.

When Edward asks Alice how much longer for Bella's transformation: "How many more seconds would I burn? Ten thousand? Twenty? Another day--eighty-six thousand, four hundred? More than that?" 
Eighty-six thousand, four hundred? That's what you keep in your head? How many seconds have gone by? Bella, I'm convinced you are a stopwatch. Four books later I've finally figured out your hobby. Counting seconds. 
Well, it's more productive than courting werewolves and vampires and throwing yourself into danger. It's so mundane that I'd be happy for her to do this as her hobby for the rest of her life. Maybe the people around her could finally relax for a bit.

When Bella counts seconds again: "Baseball was not interesting enough to distract me from the pain, so I listened to Edward's breathing again, counting the seconds. Twenty-one thousand, nine hundred seventeen and half, the pain changed." 
Are you kidding me? And I thought russet and velvet were annoying. She was in pain for 6 hours. Just say that. This is written in past-tense anyway, not present. 
She's Mother Time, let her embrace her new absurd identity. You wanted her to have personality and unique characteristics. Now she has them. Are you not entertained? 

Chapter 20:

When Bella becomes a vampire and can smell everything: "And most of all, I could taste an almost-honey-lilac-and-sun-flavored scent that was the strongest thing, the closest thing to me." 
What would the sun smell like? Honestly. I know what honey and lilac smell like, but I've never smelled the sun seeing as it is about 94 million miles away. 
Maybe it smells like chewy tablet vitamins...that or like different things burning. Depends on if you wish to think of the sun the beneficial healthy way, or the fiery death ball in the sky way.

"Their breath mixed with the scent that was something just off honey and lilac and sunshine, bringing new flavors." 
What does sunshine smell like? Even if it's sunny, every single city you go to smells different. Some smell humid and muggy, others smell arid, but there's no straight sunshine scent. What does that even mean?
Use your imagination. At this point, any answer that seems close should do the trick. Bella doesn't make sense, so her hyperactive sense thoughts don't make sense. Embrace the weird.

When Bella sees everything: "So by the time I found myself crouched against the wall defensively--about a sixteenth of a second later..." 
Seconds again? Really? *rolls eyes* It's official. She's a stopwatch. 
Tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock, she's a clock.

When Bella realizes she was overreacting; the Cullens are in front of her: "I held my pose for an eighth of a second longer, adjusting the scene before me." 
*sighs* Bella, shut up.
Tock-tick-tock-tick, closing her mouth will do the trick.

When Bella touches Edward as a vampire: "I refused to let myself be sidetracked by the pearly color of my hand or by the smooth silk of his skin or by the charge that zinged in my fingertips." 
Aww, isn't that cute? They zinged. I want to watch Hotel Transylvania...a better vampire love story than Twilight.

When Bella finds out that her vampire voice sounds like a bell.
Is this why she's called Bella?
Sure, why not? Let's go with that.

When Carlisle asks Bella how she feels: "I considered that for a sixty-fourth of a second." 
*wishing I could slam the book shut*
Slam it, slam it, slam it, slam it. I need popcorn to watch the boiling rage at the presence of time.

When Bella reins in her emotions, Jasper says, "I've never seen a newborn do that--stop an emotion in its tracks that way. You were upset, but when you saw our concern, you reined it in, regained power over yourself. I was prepared to help, but you didn't need it." 
I WISH she would've needed your help, Jasper.

Chapter 21:

When Bella hears Jacob's heart; she mentions that he doesn't like Renesmee much, Edward says, "Trust me, she is perfectly safe. I know exactly what Jacob is thinking." 
Yes. Jacob is thinking that she needs to protected at all costs, because he imprinted on her.
How in the world is he so calm about that? After everything that he's dealt with when it comes to Jacob. I'd hate to constantly hear what that guy is thinking.

When Bella is wearing heels in the forest for her first hunt, and she lands perfectly: Edward says, "That was quite graceful--even for a vampire." 
So, what? She's suddenly not clumsy anymore? Bella's clumsiness was her ONE key trait. Take that away and she's not the same. She's......perfect. Why is every single vampire perfect? Why couldn't she keep her clumsiness? It makes no sense that her heart not beating anymore, and her becoming immortal would suddenly change the way she walks.
She's not perfect, remember? She's a weird stopwatch-clock/human hybrid!  ...I wish my clumsiness would go away if I just got pregnant and started paying absurd amounts of attention to the seconds going by....

When Bella jumps over the river during her first hunt: "Just an eighty-fourth of a second, and yet it was plenty of time....." 
Why? Just why? 
So you can be irked, because no other reason matters. This amuses me greatly.

When Bella notices Edward's scent again: "....his strange honey-lilac-and-sun perfume." 
Again, what does the sun smell like? Can we stop smelling impossible scents?

When Bella hunts a lion: "The lion's tail twitched spasmodically as he prepared to spring." 
A mountain lion, I assume, because there are no LION lions in America except in zoos. Even if it is a mountain lion, it's very unclear, since a lot of people don't live where mountain lions live. 
There were once upon a time, in ye olde prehistoric times. The North American lion, to be precise. But as you may have noticed, those days are long gone and yes, mountain lions are the only kind of lion here, because North American lions went extinct a long, long time ago, in a galaxy not far away.

Not long after, Bella says to Edward, "And I don't suppose there are any other mountain lions nearby." 
Okay, I was right. It still takes a little while to become clear, though. 
See my comment above for more information...

When Edward flushes after Bella asks to see Renesmee: "His cheek was faintly flushed, the shadows under his eyes all but vanished." 
From Webster's dictionary: "having a ruddy or reddish color." He blushed, but here's the problem: Bella mentions earlier in this same chapter that she cannot blush in two separate lines. 
This book is like the Pokemon of logical fallacies...gotta catch 'em all!

"I felt my breathing speed and waited briefly again for the blush that wouldn't come." And again, "If I could have blushed, I would have." 
Blushing is caused when blood goes into your cheeks, creating a reddish-pink tint. Vampires don't have blood, they have venom, therefore vampires shouldn't be able to blush. This is the only time a vampire ever blushes in the entirety of the Twilight Saga
I'm surprised it took this long to include another impossible physiological component.

Chapter 22:
When Bella finds out that Jacob imprinted on her daughter: "No!
You finally figured out something for yourself. I thought it was going to have to be spelled out for you. Turns out I was wrong. 
Most things ARE spelled out for her...maybe she HAS grown as a character...kind of.

When Jacob tells Bella that the two of them had to be together because of Renesmee.
She's going to get mad, Jacob. I'd quit while you're ahead. I don't even care that you imprinted on her daughter. It makes sense. What's weird is you're going to be Bella and Edward's son-in-law eventually. That's just weirding me out, considering you kissed Bella, who is, might I add, Renesmee's mother?
You thought it was weird before...welcome to penultimate weirdness!! 

Chapter 23:

When Bella thinks about Charlie; Jasper catches onto her mood and reassures her, thinking that she's anxious about how the other Cullens are treating her. 
*smiles* I wish the entire series would've been written from Jasper's point of view. I probably would've enjoyed it more.

When Bella remembers one of the times where she told Jacob goodbye: ".....wondering aloud who he would end up with, who would make his life right after what I'd done to it. I had said something abut how whoever she was, she wouldn't be good enough for him." 
I bet you couldn't have seen that one coming even if someone had told you directly. I think your daughter would be WAY more than enough for Jacob. 
Who knows? He might wish that she were dead too since she's a partial vampire...I wouldn't put it past him.

When Bella notices how much Renesmee has grown in such a short amount of time: "Her ringlets hung a sixteenth of an inch lower down her shoulders." 
Oh great. She's a RULER now.
She evolved!! Maybe this is her final you think she can also do this in metric? Or is she still super limited in her abilities? 

Chapter 24:
When Edward tells Bella that Emmett wanted to add a few thousand square feet, a second story, columns, and a tower to the cottage the Cullens fixed for them. 
Emmett has good taste. I think columns would've added a nice touch. 
You and your columns... (for those who don't know, my sister has a fascination with Greek/Roman columns and their variations...and can name the type of one just by looking at it). 

When Bella and Edward walk into the cottage: "It was a place where anyone could believe magic existed. A place where you just expected Snow White to walk right in with her apple in hand....." 
You mean a place where Snow White would be poisoned to death. So, it's a house of death in your mind. Should you really have a bedroom for your daughter in your "death house?"
For someone who loves to read, she sure doesn't pay close attention to the actual stories...

When Bella mentions that Edward had always thought he belonged to the world of horror stories: "Of course, I'd known he was dead wrong." 
You're right. He is wrong. He's undead. He shouldn't even exist. He goes against the laws of nature.
Haha dead wrong...if he's dead wrong, then she is too...forevermore.

Chapter 25:
When Bella says Carlisle looks like Zeus's younger, better-looking brother. 
Maybe I'm just being technical, but if Zeus DID have a younger brother, he and his siblings probably still would've been stuck in Kronos' stomach and Mount Olympus wouldn't have the gods. But hey, what do I know? I just study Greek Mythology in my free time. 
*claps in appreciation of the nerd-dom shining through* 

Chapter 26:
When Bella mentions that as a human, she'd never been best at anything; she mentions that nobody ever gives away a trophy for reading books; she says she was pretty used to being average. 
You haven't even seemed to read a ton of books. It seems like you just prefer to reread Jane Austen, William Shakespeare, and Wuthering Heights. I don't remember anything else besides poetry being mentioned. 
Maybe not a trophy, but they give out certificates for summer reading programs at a lot of libraries...I guess she never bothered to see what her local library offered, despite being such an avid reader. Some schools award you for being awesome at reading. Not sure how I would know that, but uh.....*cough cough* yeah, that's a thing in some places.
Chapter 29:
When Bella is convinced that Alice and Jasper left because they abandoned the Cullens: "We were doomed, then, weren't we? There was no hope at all. Not one ray, one flicker that might have convinced Alice she had a chance at our side." 
*facepalm* She didn't abandon you. It's Alice. She doesn't abandon family. Do you even KNOW her? 
No, she conveniently forgot everything about the people she "loves". Like always.

When Bella finds the note written by Alice in The Merchant of Venice; the words, "Destroy this," are written; Bella burns it. 
I don't think Shakespeare deserves to be burned. 
This is the worst use of Shakespeare, in a book, ever. How dare she burn Shakespeare's work and call herself a reader? She's despicable.

Chapter 32:
When Bella talks about training with Rosalie, Tanya, Emmett, and Eleazar: "Their lessons reminded me of Jasper's fighting instructions to others last June......" 
To be honest, you probably would've been better off training with Jasper. It's a shame he isn't there.

Chapter 33:
When Bella asks J. Jenks/Jason Scott for birth certificates, passports, and a drivers' license; Jason asks Bella for names: "Jacob...Wolfe. And...Vanessa Wolfe." 
Wolfe, Bella? Really? It's funny, but really? That's all you could think of?
Why not? Would you rather she have said "secondstein" or "inchman" for a last name? 

Chapter 34:
When Bella wonders about Renesmee touching her and Bella not being able to shield herself from her gift: "I sighed at my own stupidity." 
At least you admit it. You've been stupid a lot, but there are too many times to count, and I don't have THAT much time on my hands. I have hobbies, unlike you. I have a life. You're undead.

Chapter 36:
When the Volturi are coming: Garrett says, "The redcoats are coming, the redcoats are coming." 
*laughs* I think they're wearing gray-black cloaks, but I don't even care.

Chapter 37:
When Jacob takes Renesmee away from the Volturi, Edward says, "Goodbye, Jacob, my son." 
Sooo weird. I still can't get over the son thing.
Yep, that will never NOT be weird. Their progression from rivals to..."family", is one of the weirdest things ever.

Chapter 39:
When Bella and Edward find out that Alice's defection was just a ruse to make Edward believe she and Jasper had abandoned them. 
Well, duh! Alice is way too loyal to give up on the Cullens that easily. I'm convinced that Edward doesn't really know Alice. The same goes for Bella. Would Alice really abandon Bella? She loves her! Come on, Edward. You should've seen this coming. Why is Edward suddenly stupid and clueless? I thought that was Bella's job, not his.
He married her, so that should be revealing. She has rubbed off on him...that or he was clueless from the beginning and it was hidden under Bella's overappreciation of his velvet voice and marble skin.

When Bella tells Alice that she could've told her, since Edward can't read her mind, Alice replies, "You're just not that good an actress."
Seems like Kristen Stewart did perfect, after all. The first Twilight movie came out in November of 2008. Breaking Dawn, the book, was released in August of 2008. I doubt many critics and fans had already said that she couldn't act at this point, seeing as the movie wasn't out. Bella's not that good an actress, so Kristen Stewart did fit the role, and did really good as Bella. I'm convinced.
I feel so bad that this is the role she ended up with. Same for the other actors involved who had this marked as their potentially defining work. People blame her for it, but really she had an awful script and source material to work with. I agree, she nailed it. Bella is plain, makes dumb choices, and doesn't emote like a normal person. Her performance was flawless.

Last sentence: "And then we continued blissfully into this small but perfect piece of our forever." 
Yay! I'm done. Now all I have to do is read Midnight Sun (once released), Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. It took me around 1,209,600 seconds (14 days) to read this book, give or take.

So what are my sister's final thoughts on this final book?

Overall, Breaking Dawn is a relatively solid 3.5. This one is the best out of the four. Jasper and Alice are the best parts of this entire series. I'm so glad to finally be done with Bella's point of view, seeing as Midnight Sun is supposed to follow Edward instead. The original Twilight Saga is a 3 overall.  

Her tally of miscellaneous things:

Russet used to describe Jacob's skin: 25 times across four books
Velvet used to describe Edward's voice: 30 times across four books
Seconds used to describe time: 59 times (Breaking Dawn only)

So here we are at the end of My Sister Reads and Comments on: Breaking Dawn. We might be back later with dual reviews of Midnight Sun, but no spoilers for that one, since it is brand new! Thanks for joining us today!